words from my grandmother

the following words come from my grandmother's journal.

she was the sweetest woman.

most importantly, she loved the lord.

perhaps the lord will give me many years yet to love and care for ed and our children.

if not, i want things organized to make it as easy as possible on them.

today i went out to the cemetary lots and there i prayed for strength, and to glorify god.

he knows all about us.

i am so glad i've served and been blest by our lord

since i was 11 years old and gave my heart to him.

i find him sweeter as the years go by.

praise his name!

when my lord calls me home, i will rejoice

for the wonderful family he's given me, the joys of this earth

that have been mine, and above all the joy of serving him.

what beautiful words from an amazing women.

goodbye my love

mr. b left today to start his ak adventure.

last week he was away taking some grad school classes.

consequently, i had only two full days with him before he left again.

i miss him so much already and it's only been a few hours.

i cannot wait to see him in the early morning hours on friday.

goodbye my love.

i will see you soon.

final week of summer

i know this is july 23rd, but for me this is the last week of summer.

i will be heading home to ak soon.

there i will be met with temperatures in the 60s {maybe 70s}.

i am so looking forward to visiting friends and family.

i am ready for adventure.

i am ready to be out on the ocean.

i am ready to be up in the mountains.

i am ready to be on rivers.

i am ready to be camping in the woods {without ticks}.

i am just ready.

that's a wrap in the rain

the rain is coming.

let's move the photoshoot an hour early with 5 minutes notice.

oh yes, i did.

we knocked out the shoot in 30 minutes and finished just before the rain started to fall.

that's a wrap.

today i got to shoot my friend and emerging artist, kimberly.

her work is up on display in my small town at solomon's porch.

if you read this and live near by, check it out.

yes, i am shamelessly plugging my small town.

let it rain

what is it about a storm that just makes you want to go outside and watch?

the raining is gushing down the streets as i write these words.

i went outside to watch and delightfully found many neighbors.

it blew in quickly, unexpectedly (serves me right for not checking out the nightly news).

it blew in with a passion.

we have been in desperate need of rain and here is comes, down, down, down.

let it rain.

the whole process of a storm is so amazing.

the clouds, the speed, the fact that it falls from the pretty white (sometimes gray)

things you can fly right through.

lighting, thunder.

you cannot control a storm, you just have to sit and wait it out or play in it (if it is safe enough).

one of my favorite childhood memories comes from a baby sister who took my sister and me out

to run through the puddles after a big storm.

when i was a child freedom was running through the puddles and playing in the rain.

i still loves puddles.

i still love rain. 

good morning running shoes

i've counted up the cost and you are worth it

mr. b and i have been unable to have children so far.

if you know anything about the fertility cycle this is for you...

my luteal phase is too short.

my body is unable to sustain life.

this has been hard for me to take in, some days are better than others.

we have tried different things to lengthen it, but so far...

nothing.

last night was one of those nights where i am so overcome with grief i can't bear it.

the tears just came.

and yet, there is hope.

we started the adoption process just over a month ago.

i truly believe that God has led us to this agency and this is where we should be.

last night i became not just overwhelmed with not having a sweet little baby in my home,

but the amount of money this is all going to take.

initially looking at the number i was thinking, this is doable.

mr. b is out of school.

it's like a school payment i told myself.

and then it hits me.

this amount is roughly 1/3 my annual salary.

it's a bit more than a school payment.

i cried.

overwhelmed with the cost of adoption.

this morning as the sun came up i felt the father reassure me.

this is the plan i have for you.

i will provide.

you will have a child.

he has provided for us so far.

in giving up our six digit income to attend seminary.

in giving up the security of a nice retirement savings to pay for seminary.

we have had a good home.

we have not gone hungry.

in just the right time God has provided me with a great job.

he has provided for all our needs since we gave up our secure life.

now we must trust and he provides.

he will continue to provide.

i’ve counted up the cost and you are worth it.

thank you LORD.

trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
 in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight.

proverbs 3:5-6 

sweet sunday.

today was such a sweet sunday.

mr. b curcuit rode today between two churches and three sermons.

i love both churches so much.

the afternoon was spent with some dear friends on their small farm.

i love slow, relaxing days.

moving again...

we moved to KY three years ago for my husband to attend seminary.

he graduated this year.

we will be moving once again.

we found ourselves moving just a year ago when the seminary built new housing.

we went from 350 square feet to 1000 square feet (we will be keeping the footage in this move). 

i love the new housing and i will miss the bamboo floors.

but as a decorator i am excited about getting a whole new space to make home.

 it is literally just a block away.

i moved a lot growing up and it almost seems natural to move every few years.

yet, there is a slight hitch in this move.

my husband will still be up in AK when we have to move into our new house.

it really hitting me today.

in less than three weeks i will be going to AK and immediately upon returning, i will be moving.

that is a lot to take in.

here are pictures from my house after moving in last year.

and yes, that rocking chair is broken and has been replaced with my great grandmothers rocker.

i adore rocking in her chair.

 it brings back sweet memories of listening to her stories and looking at pictures.

my great grandmother was a photographer too.

she loved her polaroid. a majority of my childhood pictures she took.

 i used to sit in her rocker and look at photos for hours. 



evening lesson

i will bless the lord who gives me counsel;

my heart teaches me, night after night.

i have set the lord always before me;

because he is at my right hand, i shall not fall.

psalm 16:7,8

here at the very begining

well, maybe not at the very begining. here is a little about me.

i am 30 something.

i am married to the best man ever.

i love jesus.

i like photography.

i like ocean kayaking.

i like running.

i like climbing mountains.

i like adventure.

i live in KY. AK is home.

i enjoy fashion.

i like decorating.

this blog will be a little about everything and maybe nothing.

enjoy.